After about a week of stubbornly wobbling around 215lbs, today my scale read 214. HA!
(eta: my scale is playing tricks with me, but I still pwn. A little while later the thing read 212. HA!)
This means that in October, just as in September, I’ve lost 9lbs – bringing my total weight loss so far to 3436lbs. Which is about 16kgs, which is more than the weight of the rucksack I took with my on my travels last Summer.
Which means that I am now more than 30kg lighter than the amount of mass I lambasted that plane with.
According to a cool thread on the forums, my total weight loss so far is slightly more than a breeze block – you know, one of those big grey ugly concrete things they use to build houses with.
And yet I don’t feel any different. I don’t feel slimmer, even though I can look in the mirror and see a difference. I still feel like the horrid ugly fat woman whose life is a mess. There are a couple of people who actively support me in losing weight by commenting on it…but then there are plenty so-called “friends” who don’t. On Sunday I happened to see a few people whom I hadn’t seen in weeks, and not one of them noticed. Hell, they barely said hello.
I’ve got to stop expecting friendship and support from losers who are too mean to be able to give it. Likely they’re rotten, blind people who don’t give a damn. Any kind of “friendship” I might have had with them was clearly too superficial to last – like those 34lbs, I’m much better off without them.
The only problem is that I now need to fill the void in my life were before there used to be those “friendships”. I think I’ll just give it time and the real friends will come – but that’s easier said than done.
